Friday, November 24, 2006

Peter Sellers - my primary doctor

My choice of doctor is simple, he/she should be close by, always available to see me at all times, and willing to lie to my employer if I don’t feel like going to work.. With the new medical insurance reform in France, we now have to choose our primary doctor. Dr. R is on top of my list, because he satisfies fully to the above criteria and with an additional quality – very entertaining.

Recommended by the pharmacist in the neighborhood, I came to know Dr. R a couple of years ago. His clinic is 200 meters from my apartment, next to my usual newspaper vender and before the butchery where I get good quality meat.

Dr. R is in his 40s, reliable looking honest man with black framed glasses. He has the most beautiful plants of all the doctors I ever visited ever in my life. The first visit I made to his clinic, he spent 30 minutes explaining to me all the plants he had on his balcony, their names and where they came from. This was also the time when I saw a very cool black and white picture of Peter Sellers on his shelf, Dr. R looked exactly like Peter in that picture. One other time, I asked if he was a brother or cousin of Peter Sellers, his answer was no, but then in his voice I sensed joy.

In a world where doctors and lawyers are rushing to serve you, get your check and push you out of the door. Dr. R is really one of a kind.

Every time I called him and he was always available and ready to see me, I don’t even have boyfriends who are this available to me. After some 30 minutes entertaining discussions, I explain my health problem. He would always look at me behind his glasses with an ample pause of at least 2 minutes, and then he would stand up and go his book shelf and pick out his gigantic medical dictionaries, sometimes several of them and lay them out on his table. He then would try to find the exact name of the illness and read the symptoms aloud to me. When these symptoms did not match too well to my problems, we would then go to another illness until we find the problem and also the solutions in those huge dictionaries. A very collective and interactive process indeed. If Peter Sellers plays in a new movie called ‘The Pink Panther Strikes Back in the Doctors Office’ or ‘The Party II – at the doctors office’, I could play the patient. This dream gave me strength and hope in life, and faith in my doctor.

I never doubted the medical competence of Mr. Peter Sellers, but by the time I had the prescription in hand and walked into the pharmacy, I somehow remembered to double and triple check with the pharmacist.

It has been 2 years and 3 months since I have become patient of Dr. R and I am still alive, he dealt all my little health problems with patience, grace and most importantly entertainment. Therefore, he is elected to be my primary doctor. Dr. R- Peter Sellers incarnated indeed.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Crackberries and their managers - London II

A guy friend once described all the cities he lived in with the nature of women he knew - If Paris was a woman, she would be this untouchable beauty that everyone wants to have, you do too, but you do not really want to live with. Barcelona, would be a great lover, fun and exciting, yet you also know that you don't have to be faithful to her and it is okay. Madrid would be a good friend, nice to talk to, and she is always ready to go out drinking with you. And London? London is a whore, you just need to pay wherever you go and whatever you do!

So London, the city where a one way subway ride is 3 pounds which equals 4.5 euros or 6 US Dollars or 45 Chinese Yuan; to pray at Westminster Abby costs 10 pounds which equals 15 euros or 20 us dollars or 150 Chinese Yuan, most people here exist for the existence of money.

I watched more financial news over the weekend than the past 5 years combined.

At diner tables, I am surrounded by investment bankers, stock brokers, fund managers and fund of fund managers.

Today the real symbol of being in the business is not the three piece suite nor the Rolex watch nor the convertible Porsche, it is a little handheld device called BLUEBERRY. As everyone sat down the table, everyone set down his or her blueberry on the table and it is considered acceptable to check the market during dinner or conversation. So as not to feel being left out, I also set down a little box of Kleenex which I bought on a recent trip to China, the little box is very nifty and high tech but very pink. To make it convincing, I keep turning it over looking at it and then turning it back and putting it back on the table next to my elegant forks and knives. Finally, an Indian looking fund manager asked what I was looking at.

Ana: This is a new device called STRAWBERRY. It is especially designed for women who do not understand numbers. You can send unlimited messages but never receive any messages at all. Microsoft put them out on the test market with limited editions just this month.

Indian Fund Manager: Brilliant! Let me see it!

Ana silently: Swell! He believes me…

I later learned that he manages an Asian fund which is worth at least a couple of billion euros. I really hope that he is not the kind that also has a Pilipino house cleaner with whom he sleeps at night.

Eurostar - London I

The best thing about being unemployed is the ultimate freedom to manage one’s own time. So I just picked up my bags and went to London for the weekend, two hours and thirty minutes from central Paris to central London, thanks to this great thing called Eurostar.

So convenient that I almost forgot that it was actually international travel and custom’s check was required. Luckily I had all the papers with me, stepping through French border control, 3 meters behind, there was the British border control.

Officer: What are you going to do in the UK?
Ana: Visiting friends
Officer: How long will you stay?
Ana: three days
Officer: Where are you staying?
Ana: With a friend
Officer: Where exactly?
Ana: ah….where !?(I hadn’t got the faintest idea, I just got one text msg from my girl friend in the morning saying it was okay to stay with her)

Ana: Well somewhere between Chelsea, South Kensington and Notting Hill. Somewhere there is tons of shopping, restaurants and very close to the city center.

The officer looked at me with great suspicion.

Ana: Well it would have to be SW –one digit…

Officer: I mean the address! (He stared me again)
Ana: Yes of course…but you see my friend hasn’t told me… Would you like me to call her? But she will not respond because she is busy, she is always busy and never responds to her phone like everybody else in London

I pulled out my phone, it says “LOW BATTERY”… and I just realized I did not bring the phone charger either.

Officer: What do you do in France?
Ana: (Nothing and collecting unemployment!!! Could I actually say the truth?) I work for XXX- huge French company, specialized cosmetics…

Five minutes later, I found my seat on Eurostar sipping on a Cappuccino and reading The Economist trying to understand the world. By that time, I already sent two emergency text messages to my friend “No Battery! Tell me where to go Please!” Of course there was no response at all!

If only working people could understand the stress of non-working people!