successful match maker going on the black list

Aside from washing hair for bartenders, I actually have a day job – professional match maker for my single friends. Due to some mere luck, I keep a very high success rate in this profession regardless of the season, traffic conditions in the city, nationalities of my clients and my own personal status (single or couple format). What I have learned in this profession over the years is that one need to take real joy in the joy of his/her clients to be really successful. One other thing I have learned is that people can be re-formatted relatively easily from “single” to “couple”, or from “couple” to “single”, as if you are formatting those diskettes from apple format to PC format. To ensure continuous flow of clients, I never ask any questions when one wish to change his/her format, I service them like a professional. The business is not that profitable, I would have to say, taking into account a few free Perriers on the initial “set-up” drinks and occasional thank you dinners from real sensible clients. I can almost safely say that I run a “non-for-profit” organisation. Hopefully the authority will soon recognise me as a warm hearted foreigner and make my salary 100% tax deductible.

Occasionally I also lose money, that happens when single friends actually cross out my name from their little black book (address book, I just learned this term). Why? Guys are worried that I keep bringing young eligible men to their new girl friends to create natural competition for them. Girls are worried that I take their men to sleazy places like Hustler’s Club on Wednesday nights (school nights are more discrete as I once educated my clients) and corrupt their souls. Result: I am the only single person left on earth. No one to hang out with, I am officially on the BLACK LIST.

Am I suffering from the demon of my own success?!

My next marketing slogan should read: “ Forget about the black list, you might be a returning client one day”!!!